Sharing in the Sandbox (Part 2)

Koffee With Kelli

Good morning and thanks so much for joining me again this morning. If you didn’t get a chance to read yesterday’s blog, you might want to go back and read that first, otherwise today’s thoughts might not make much sense. I want to pick up where we left off yesterday… a young mom and her two year old, in the sandbox, sharing his toys with a group of older kids. I guess it would be more accurate to say, giving up his toys to a group of older kids. I hope you’ve given some thought to the principles at play here as well as the practical ways you might handle this situation. My guess is, if you’ve been parenting for any length of time, you’ve run into a similar situation with your own kids. Here are some things that I try to consider in these circumstances:

1. One of my standard teachings when we are group parenting is if everyone is parenting and paying attention to their own children, everyone gets along.
2. Generally, we want to teach our children that people are more important than things.  We value human relationships more than anything else.
3. We train our children to be servant leaders i.e. when there are younger, special needs, or senior citizens around, we expect them to be tuned into caring, honoring and serving them. They have grown up with the trigger: If it’s not fun for everyone, it’s not fun!!
4. This may be a wonderful opportunity to model good teaching. As a young mother I was always happy to step into those situations and speak in a happy, strong voice about how we were going to play together. Many are fearful of that today, but that seems to be even more of a reason to teach others how to gently, but confidently help others parent.
5. Phrases like,” OK, let’s all trade a toy with the next person” or I think he is asking for a turn with that toy” or “Everyone has 5 more minutes to play and then we will share it with someone who does not have something to play with”. Kids (and adults) are selfish by nature and us parents yearn for time at the park to relax while our children are happily playing. Sometimes we want a break and we are not tuned in to what is happening right in front of us. What amuses me is when the injustice is directed toward your child, all of a sudden, parents are back engaged!!

The reason that seemed to work is I was equally or harder on my own children with these principles so others could see I was about everyone having fun. And you know, in all those years, I can’t remember a parent getting mad at me for that!!

The big picture principle is this: Before we get irritated and frustrated with other parents, please hear their story! And yes, I know, you came to the park to have some fun, quality time with your children. But what if God, in His sovereignty, had something else in mind? What if, for such a time as this, He placed you there for that one parent or that child in the sandbox?

These are my favorite things to share about because when we stop and think, it is never as simple as, “I just wish people would manage their own kids in the sandbox”. Please don’t miss the walk in business in the sandbox or anywhere else life may lead you!!! Big Blessings….Kelli

Sharing in the Sandbox

Koffee With Kelli

Good Morning Friends!!

Hope this morning finds you into the beautifully colored fall rhythm and warmly engaged in all that is happening in your family!! Reheat that coffee and come sit with me for a moment please!!

I got a call from a young mother who took her two children to the park this past weekend. Her two year old son is especially excited about the sandbox there and she had surprised him with a new dump truck from the GW (Goodwill). She also took some shovels. They were both looking forward to their time at the park.

When they arrived, there were four other kids already playing in the sandbox. They were older, one about 5 years old and the others around 7-10 years old.  They were very happy to see the toys arrive! There were also four parents sitting around the area, one mother and three dads.

The older children proceeded to ask and “borrow” the toys her 2 year old had brought and in exchange gave him a stick to play with.  She’s teaching him to share, and the intention was to share as most kids do when they bring toys to a public place to play.

What transpired next under the watch of all the parents present was a fun session of sand play with toys but much to the dismay of the above mentioned parent, the two year never got a turn with the toys he brought. When he tried to ask for them, the older children apparently could not understand what he wanted.

When the mother had had enough, she gathered the toys and moved to the swings until this particular group of kids had left. She called really frustrated and was adamant about not wanting to manage other people’s kids while their parents were sitting right there. Her other two choices were to not share with anyone or to leave the park; neither of which felt fair or right to her.

So, what would you have done? What would you tell this young mother who is trying to do the right thing with her young family? This is only the beginning of many times she will witness injustice toward her son…what is the right teaching? Should you say anything which involves another child if their parent is sitting right there?

Oh so much comes to my mind as I have processed this scenario and thought about our culture at large when it comes to growing children in community! I think there are times when speaking up is the right thing to do. I also think there are times when it is appropriate to keep silent. And there certainly are times when you just need to walk away. I do have a few thoughts and takeaways I’d like to offer. Tomorrow I’m going to share five thoughts and principles I consider when faced with situations like this… I’ll also share what I told this young mother.